I have no dreams
Here is a tale of how one simple question was stuck in my head for weeks and how it was a moment of self-reflection and realization.
A few weeks ago I had a job interview and they asked me what my grandiose dream was. For a second I thought if I should answer honestly or just come up with some impressive dreams that will never come true and that are simply not mine. Truth won.
So in all honesty, I told them that I don’t have any dreams and that I just want to be happy and live my best life.
After the interview, I started thinking about the question, feeling guilty about the fact that I did not elaborate further and that I myself am confused about my lack of dreams. At the end of the day, I am the biggest daydreamer and have no dreams? Something is not right!
So here comes this “something” - something happened in my family recently that made me re-evaluate my whole life and look at it differently. No, I am not a changed person but I want to make changes and make sure that the time I have left is spent according to my own desires and satisfaction. Tomorrow is not promised and we don’t know how long our journey will last.
Anyway, the thing I wish I said is that despite the fact that I barely have any dreams (my only dream is to live in our own house in the place we truly love while being happy, healthy, and finacialy-abundant), I do have goals and to-do lists.
I think at my age it’s kind of silly to just dream about things. It’s like planning without ever doing anything about it.
I realized that now I divide dreams into 3 categories:
Dreams that we see when we sleep 😴
Dreams about fantasy worlds, other realms, things that do not necessary exist in reality but we still dream about them or even believe in them. I also consider it a part of daydreaming 🧚🏻♀️
Dreams that we have about our life and can become a reality but they stay just that - dreams 🤭
The dreams from the third category are the kind of dreams I no longer wish to have in my life. I think that nowadays a lot of the things are possible in our world. So to sit and simply dream about, let’s say, becoming a film director is kind of… silly. If you have a phone, WiFi, and access to YouTube, nothing truly stops you from making the movies.
And if you want to say “no, Julia, I want to make REAL movies, not on my phone and for YouTube? Pfff!”, I am sorry but you already lost.
It’s up to use to make sure our dreams come true. But in order for them to actually become a reality, we should set goals and start executing. Step-by-step.
Here is a thing, I always loved writing, and one day I stopped dreaming about it and started writing. Am I the greatest writer of all times? No. Will I win any prizes for my writing? Probably not. But it does not stop me, it brings me joy, so I do it - I write.
Another example from my life is my desire to learn music and singing. I dreamt for so long about playing a guitar or piano without ever even trying to play ANY of the music instruments until one day I was like “wait a second, I am a working adult, I can get myself a music instrument I want and start learning how to play it”. Wow, what a realization!
I am not going to tell you that everything is within your reach and if you want something, you will get it. No, all of us have different opportunities, responsibilities and everyone decides for themselves what their priorities are at the end of the day. What I do want to say though is that just dreaming is hurtful and not practical at all.
I also believe in being honest with myself when it comes to my goals. Even if I learn how to play piano perfectly, I will never become the greatest Grammy-winning musician and that’s ok.
In the Western society, it seems like there are only two options - a looser or a winner - and there is nothing in between. And I am so against it 🙅🏼♀️
In my opinion, it’s ok to live a simple life with 200 followers on Instagram and a few friends, doing a simple job, and not trying to become famous or number one. And this is exactly where my so-called lack of dreams is coming from. I don’t dream about being the greatest and I don’t need to prove anything to anyone (well, except myself), therefore I can just relax and start doing things at my own pace. There is literally no pressure when you accept your reality as it is. And if you want to make changes, you absolutely can, it is up to you.
So my point is when you are being realistic with yourself about your life, there is no more need to dream about a lot of the things in your life. The only way is to start doing if you choose so.
And if you don’t? Well, it’s up to you..